currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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