He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
