Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
