just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
