Need sex. Gaining weight.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Terrible idea I love it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
