I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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