Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
