I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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