just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
