her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
