i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
