I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
