There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
