wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
