This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
