I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
