Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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