You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
