U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize