My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
