Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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