Yo dont text me then not text me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
