I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This is classic penis vs brain.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize