Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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