remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
