dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
