I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
