It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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