No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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