i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he shaved USA in his pubs
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
