Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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