Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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