and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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