did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
