Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize