I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
