So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the day after is always just damage control
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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