Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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