Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
