mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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