Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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