Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
