Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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