Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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