Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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