After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize