I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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