i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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