Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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