whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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