i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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