I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize