Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize