we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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