"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize