I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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