she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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