No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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