I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
