i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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