chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
