I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
