She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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