I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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