So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
