Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
