Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
