U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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