Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
