I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
