its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
